Tag: personal

Several Things…

Content/trigger warning: discussion of ableism, including common emotional abuse techniques, cursing (do I always warn for cursing? I should, seeing as I curse like I just discovered the words) Hey! Guess who did NaNoWriMo and didn’t blog for a whole month because she was busy trying to hit 50k? This lady! (I did finish NaNo,…

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She Would Have Been 62 Today

Dear Carrie, Happy birthday. I hope wherever you are now, you have some awareness of how much your life mattered to so many people and that the world is worse off without you. And I hope that there are no saneist assholes there, even though if there were, you’d be giving them hell (no pun…

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Walk in Red Instead Challenge

Content/trigger warning: mention of person-first language, discussion of ableism The Walk in Red Instead challenge was originated by the runner of the Tumblr blog walkinredinstead. I fully admit I didn’t have the spoons to put a lot of effort into this, but for what it’s worth, here is my completed challenge. I did a similar…

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I’ve got nothing.

Content/tw: death mention, suicidal ideation, money Carrie would have been 61 today. I’m a wreck. There’s a lot going on in my personal life, including being out of work, bills piling up (here’s my YouCaring if you can help https://www.youcaring.com/maralee-938599), and shit happening between me and my abuser. I was going to use today’s entry…

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I Made a Thing

Content/trigger warning: suicidal ideation mention This is what my life is like. Image description: a Venn diagram of five mental illnesses: BPD, CPTSD, OSDD, depression, and anxiety. The mental illnesses’ circles contain the following: BPD: Unstable sense of self CPTSD: Flashbacks OSDD: One step away from having alters Depression: Suicidality Anxiety: Everything is scary The…

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Too out of spoons for titles

Content/trigger warning: abuse mention, disordered eating, money, death mention, reclaimed slur, cursing I’m tired. I’m so fucking tired. For personal reasons I can’t go into right now, my CPTSD has been having a motherfucking field day. So much hypervigilance, so many nightmares, and even flashbacks, which my antipsychotic has failed to keep at bay. (Fortunately…

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Time Won’t Heal This Damage Anymore

Content/trigger warning: disordered eating, self-harm, discussion of suicide Today’s entry is primarily inspired by Chester Bennington’s death, and as such, I will be covering suicidal ideation and the ableism inherent in mocking music that expresses feelings of angst or anguish. I know about self-harm, self-hatred, and suicidal ideation. I’ve experienced all three thanks to my…

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